Cognitive Distortion Deep Dive: The All-or-Nothing. You think in extremes: something is good or bad, perfect or a failure, tolerable or painful.
Now that you know what cognitive distortions are and how they show up in our lives, let’s focus on the individual types to recognize which ones you use the most— and what you can do about them.
This week we’ll take a deeper look at All-or-Nothing thinking.
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
"If I don't get this promotion, I'm a complete failure,"
"If my presentation isn't perfect, it's worthless."
“If I make one mistake, I will get fired and lose my home.”
If you can relate to a similar line of thinking when you are in a high level of distress, you have been prey to All-or-Nothing thinking. Individuals with this cognitive distortion perceive situations in black-and-white terms without recognizing the gray areas in between. They tend to think in absolutes and extremes: something is good or bad, perfect or a failure, tolerable or painful.
Failed New Year's Resolutions are a great example of this distortion, as in "I had one cookie and ruined my diet, might as well eat the entire plate."When you take a step back, it is easy to see how illogical that line of thinking is. However, when you’re in the moment, it feels real and rational, blurring the lines of ridiculousness and reality, and the consequences can be dire.
Negative emotions can develop, like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
You might start avoiding challenges for fear of failure or being overly critical of yourself and others.
All-or-Nothing thinking can also affect relationships, career progression, and overall life satisfaction.
If you think you suffer from All-or-Nothing thinking, try following these tips:
Keep a thought journal. Reflect on recent experiences. Be sure to list indicators like frequent use of absolute language, difficulty accepting partial success, or a tendency to give up easily when perfection isn't achieved.
Challenge and change negative thought patterns. Practice balanced thinking by recognizing the spectrum of possibilities between extremes. Remind yourself of the importance of self-compassion, and understand that mistakes and imperfections are part of the learning process. Reframe thoughts to be more realistic and constructive.
Give yourself (and others) a little grace. Practice empathetic listening when All-or-Nothing thoughts are expressed. Value progress and effort over outcomes to help encourage balanced thinking.
Over the next year, we’ll highlight a specific Cognitive Distortion each month, providing key indicators and advice on managing it. Next, we’ll look more closely at Catastrophizing and how to overcome the seemingly unbearable.
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