The three-step process to ACT and how it will make you a better leader and team player.
Stressed. Overwhelmed. Stuck.
These very intense emotions can make you feel like an Oscar contender, given the level of drama they tend to bring. That’s because these negative emotions indicate that you are in the psychological Red Zone, and they are just a few of the feelings that you may feel when you are experiencing high levels of distress.When you are in the Red Zone, you use the part of your brain responsible for fight or flight. As a result, your brain doesn't always think rationally when in the Red Zone. It tends to focus on problems, getting caught in a loop of negative thinking.
Any number of triggers can send you to the Red Zone, including any of the following:
feeling like you don't have control over a situation
too much on your To-Do List
feeling like you're in over your head
confusion about how to carry out a project
a frustrating task
a tight deadline
being with a particular person (who?)
In reality, events, experiences, or people don’t put us in the Red Zone—what we say to ourselves about what is happening (or not happening) puts us in the Red Zone. These thoughts can quickly spiral into unintended actions that make you (and your team) feel like they don’t matter.
So what can you do about it?
It’s not enough to simply identify how you’re feeling and gauge your level of distress. You need to know what to do next. You need to take ACTion.
ACT is an acronym I created detailing three simple steps to help you manage your stress. Different from other management training, ACT enables you to rewire your brain so that you can think, feel, and function better. So let’s get into it.
A.C.T. Your Way to Better Leadership
Step 1: Apply Your Awareness
When you feel yourself starting to get upset, check in and ask yourself what level of distress you are in on a scale of 0 - 10 (with zero indicating no stress and 10 being at the point where you might see smoke coming out of your ears).
A number between 7 and 10 means that you are in the Red Zone. If this is your score, acknowledge that you are currently not in a rational state. And now that you know this, you can find a way out!
Step 2: Change Your State
I always think of the movie Moonstruck, when Cher smacked Nicholas Cage and told him to “snap out of it.” Snapping out of it is our goal here, and it’s easy to achieve. Move your body—dance, do some jumping jacks, go for a walk, listen to music, laugh at some online videos, call a friend, blow bubbles, etc. Do whatever it takes to shake things up and disrupt your current state.
Step 3: Transform Your Perspective
Now comes the fun part! Once you have stopped seeing red, your brain is ready to help you problem-solve. Here are three tactics you can try if you’re stumped on where to begin.
Alter Ego Approach: Envision an alter ego for yourself. Creating your alter ego is a way to help you let go of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Think of Superman & Clark Kent—the same person, but each would approach a difficult situation differently. Reframing your narrative allows you to be the true version of yourself—approaching a difficult situation by tapping into the skills you already have inside of you.
Best Friend Advice: We tend to be much harder on ourselves than on anyone else. When you are frustrated, try taking yourself out of the equation and think about how you would advise your best friend if they were in your position. You’re more likely to take a kinder and more thoughtful approach.
Accurate & Helpful Thoughts: Cognitive distortions are tricks that our brains play on us. They can range from catastrophizing to mindreading to “should-ing” all over yourself. We’ll dig into these more in the coming weeks, but you’ll find that your brain defers to a select few. Once you can identify the distortions, you can counter these exaggerations by asking yourself, “Is this accurate? Is it helpful?” Answering these honestly can help you think through the truth of the issue—and how you can overcome it.
Our thoughts and interpretations of any situation can send us soaring into the Red Zone. Your goal as a leader is to change that thinking so that it works FOR YOU instead of AGAINST YOU. If left unchecked, it can affect your team’s sense of mattering—and your own.
Remember: The key is to get out of the Red Zone before you make any decisions.
In the coming weeks, we’ll explore the different types of cognitive distortions and work on identifying those that apply to us—because once we do, we can ACT.
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